Embracing the Power of Asking in Business
“Shy bairns get nowt.” This straightforward, slightly blunt phrase has echoed throughout my life, and its wisdom resonates deeply in the world of business. Despite its clarity and truth, many founders struggle to embrace this advice fully, often hesitating when it comes to asking for what they need. From my own experience, I understand why.
Early in my entrepreneurial journey, I delivered quality work, nurtured valuable relationships, and achieved tangible results. Yet, my business didn’t accelerate as I had hoped. The opportunities were there — I just wasn’t asking for them. Instead, I waited. I waited to be noticed, invited, and to feel ready. But nothing changed until I shifted my mindset.
The moment I started asking — for opportunities, introductions, and conversations I would have previously avoided — the trajectory of my business transformed. This simple act of being proactive, rather than passive, opened doors I hadn’t imagined would be accessible. One of the most remarkable outcomes of this shift was the opportunity to host an event for female founders at 11 Downing Street.
Even reflecting on this experience feels surreal. Yet, behind the polished image was a simple conversation, a clear idea, and the courage to ask one question: why not us? The invitations drew skepticism—some founders even wondered if it was a scam—highlighting how rare and valuable such opportunities can feel.
The Importance of Proactive Engagement
That evening at 11 Downing Street brought together female founders from across the North East alongside investors, policymakers, and influential figures capable of opening doors. The event was intentionally simple—no panels, no pitches, no lengthy speeches—just meaningful conversations. Because sometimes, one conversation in the right room can change the course of a business.
Yet, even in such an empowering setting, hesitation lingered. Many attendees waited to be approached instead of initiating dialogue themselves. This pattern is all too familiar. There’s a pervasive belief that if you’re good enough, opportunities will come to you—that your work will speak for itself. While comforting, this belief doesn’t align with the crowded and competitive nature of today’s markets, where visibility is as crucial as capability.
I work with many founders who are exceptional in their fields: smart, experienced, and delivering real results. Still, they don’t grow as rapidly as they could because they’re not putting themselves forward. Meanwhile, others—sometimes less experienced but far more visible—are seizing opportunities simply because they ask, follow up, and clearly communicate what they want and how others can help.
Overcoming the Fear of Asking
The barriers to asking are less about ability and more about fear. Fear of rejection, fear of making mistakes, fear of judgment, or fear of appearing pushy. Consequently, many soften their requests, hinting or circling around what they want, hoping others will read between the lines. Unfortunately, most people won’t.
Clarity is essential. If you don’t explicitly state what you want, it’s unlikely anyone else will understand. Over time, this hesitation compounds: you don’t put yourself forward, so someone else gets the opportunity; you don’t follow up, so momentum fades; you don’t share your perspective, so your voice remains absent from important conversations.
Eventually, the narrative shifts. Founders begin to tell themselves that opportunities are scarce, the market is slow, or clients aren’t buying. While these factors may sometimes be true, more often the simpler explanation is that they’re not asking.
It’s also crucial to distinguish asking from being pushy. Asking is about creating clarity and enabling decision-making—making it easy for someone to say yes or no and move forward. Being pushy involves forcing something inappropriate or unwelcome. The fastest-growing founders understand this distinction. They don’t wait to be chosen; they ask for introductions, opportunities, and sales. They follow up, maintain visibility, and generate momentum rather than waiting for it to appear.
The Role of Personal Brand and Visibility
Personal branding plays a significant role in easing these conversations. When people already know who you are and what you stand for, initiating dialogue becomes less daunting. You’re not starting from zero. However, visibility alone isn’t enough. Many founders invest time in building their audience and sharing insights but hesitate when it comes to translating that presence into concrete action.
They are visible but not proactive. And therein lies the gap.
Business rewards action. It rewards those willing to put themselves forward and be unapologetically clear about their needs. So, the key takeaway is this: stop waiting to be picked.
Ask for the meeting. Ask for the opportunity. Ask for the sale.
You won’t always get the answer you want, but you will get an answer. More importantly, you give yourself a chance. The biggest opportunities in your business won’t come from being ready—they’ll come from being brave enough to ask.
And if you don’t ask, you already know the answer.
